Free Codependency Support Group

Codepedency, An Emerging Issue, a book by Robert Subby describes codepedency as; "an emotional, psychological, and behavioral condition that develops as a result of an individial's prolonged exposure to, and practice of, a set of oppressive rules - rules which prevent the open expression of feeling as well as the direct discussion of personal and interpersonal problems."  

Some charateristics of copdepency include:

• thinking and feeling responsible for other people's feelings, thoughts, actions, choices, wants needs, etc. 
• feeling anxiety, pity and guilt when other people have a problem
• feeling angry when your help isn't effective
• anticipating other people's needs
• wondering why others aren't doing the same for you 
• finding yourself saying "yes" when you really want to say "no"
• doing things you don't really want to be doing, doing  more than your fair share of the work, and doing other things people are capable of doing themselves.
• not knowing what you want or need, if you do, telling yourself your needs arent important. 
• trying to please others instead of yourself
• feel safest when giving 
• feel insecure or guilty when people give to you
• feeling sad because you spend so much time giving to others when others do not give to you. 
• finding yourself attracted to needy people
• find needy people attracted to them
• feel bored, empty, and worthless if there is  no crisis in your life, problem to solve, or someone to help 
• abandoning your routine to respond to, or do something for someone else
• taking things personally 
• fear of rejection
• blame yourself for everything
• pick on yourself for everything, the way you look, feel, act, behave. 
• get angry, defensive or self-rightgeous when receiving critisism.  
• reject compliments or praise
• fear rejection 
• tell yourself you cants do anything right 
• feel a lot of guilt 
• become afraid of letting yourself be who you are
• think and talk a lot about other people 
• lose sleep over problems or others people's behavior
• try to catch people in acts of misbehavior
• focus too much energy on other people and problems.
• don't see or deal with their fear of loss of control 
• they you know best how other people should act and behave
• try to control events and people through helplessness, guilt, coercion, threats, manipulation
• feel controlled by events and people

And others as listed in "Copdepedent No More" by Mealdoy Beattie

If this sounds like you, you might be suffering from codepedency.  In our weekly support group, we will review a relevant reading to help you set boundaries and regulate your emotions to gain some regulation and safety in your own life.  Sign up to join the online group today.